It's not easy to appreciate the insecure pilgrimage I'm on. Hebrews 11:1 says "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." James 1:2 commands us to consider it pure joy... and Philippians 4 tells us to rejoice always by an author who was in a prison cell! These paradoxical statements are overwhelming to grasp and to be able to apply it with confidence, is almost like a defeated battle. I try and try but it leaves me feeling emotionally exhausted . The spirit says I am more than a conqueror, but the heart is deceitful; it doesn't feel the change. Perhaps, a willful and forceful spirit will allow the shift of energy to take place. It doesn't take overnight to be like Paul... There needs to be a consistent drive to be better. Though the reward is not immediate, it will come. From exhausting all that I cannot give, I come to a place of complete surrender.My strength, therefore, goes to praising and worshiping the Lord on my knees. "The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." (John 3:7-8) It just happens like that... I do not have to understand it... I don't have to analyze it... I just have to trust that my spiritual labor is going to produce a harvest. "Though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials, these have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor."
Repost from my previous blog. During a difficult time of trusting.
Flowers given during youth leaders appreciation day. It's seems official.
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