Adios 2012

The year is coming to an end! Praise, honor and glory to Him who has and continues to lavish me with His love and faithfulness.

Over the year, I have grown deeper and gained 5 inches to my growth with Him. Praise God! I am grateful for the wisdom that blossomed from the disappointment, the pain and the experiences that I have encountered this year. Indeed, without the Lord's constant availability and presence, I would have rotted in self-diminishing thoughts and self-pity.  I have learned how grace envelopes and strengthens. Maintaining a sensitive heart and believing constantly that He was near, led me to be in awe of His powerful grace. Day by day, minute by minute, I chose to trust that God would give me the strength to dismiss the negativity that came to mind. Taking captive every thought and assaulting it with His sword of truth, got me thus far. I have learned to see God through the lenses of grace and to authentically understand what it means to die to self. I have learned to hold on tightly to the truth that "I no longer live, but Christ lives in me" (Galatians 2:20).

I have also come to realize that respect, convictions, and wisdom are the most needed qualities in this world today but it is also the most easily forgotten virtues that we tend to overlook and don't posses. To earn respect, we must exude it. Without standards, without principles, without barriers, one should not expect respect. It is earned through responsibility. Convictions and wisdom give you strong footing to withstand the vile attacks of the enemy. The lure of this world and the desires of our hearts may snatch us without realizing how deeply involved we already are.  Charles Swindoll said, "Wisdom comes from privately from God as a by-product of right decisions, godly reactions, and the application of scriptural principles to daily circumstances." 

Heart without wisdom is destined for chaos. I'm through with permitting my heart to take the lead on the decision-making. Wisdom (or simply, practical common sense) need to make herself comfortable in the throne of my thoughts, my heart, and my actions. As the Bible says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9) One must truly discover and acknowledge the weaknesses of their own hearts. Whatever they are, the enemy surely awaits and prowls to take over. Be on guard and grow in the knowledge of the Lord to know how to guard your own. All heart without a sound mind leads to rationalization. Rationalization silences reality. Emotions cloud judgement. We know we fatten up our tendency to rationalize when the sins are obvious yet we gloss over them. We know that we allow the feast of rationalization to merrily continue on when we disguise our excuses with flowery words or spiritual phrases to talk ourselves out of a bad situation. C'mon. Let's not kid ourselves. Be real. Be honest. What do you really want? I have learned to honestly expose an unwise option wrapped in fluffy white sheep's clothing. 

Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Proverbs 4:26

The time is ripe to leave all heedless tendencies and grow up. To leverage what I know now and realize my design. As Paul has said, "When i was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." (1 Corinthians 13:11)

Here's to a beautiful redemptive 2013! Goodbye 2012! You have taught me well!

Peace

photo by sister 

I saw this verse highlighted in my Bible last night. 

They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. ‘Peace, peace,’ they say, when there is no peace. (Jeremiah 6:14)

Instantly, I thought about the many times I deceived myself into believing that I have found peace and declared it even if there were things that contradicted the very principles of His Word. I justified my decisions and believed that God approved. How easy it is to find signs or coincidences and conclude, "This is peace. This is God's will." How foolish... 

"I want the peace from God, not the peace I attempt to create." - Joshua Harris

Fly Away

Far far away from where I came from. 

I smell victory. Greatness is here. 

Photo by sister. 

SIN

How do we decide what is sin? "Take this rule: whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or takes off your relish of spiritual things; in short, whatever increases the strength and authority of your body over your mind, that thing is sin to you, however innocent it may be in itself." -Susanna Wesley

Fifth.

Fifth pen drawing.

Forgiveness

The heart of God is to forgive. Love, patience, grace, compassion, these, to name a few, depict the tender heart of God. If we are for Him, we ought to reflect such qualities. We represent Him. We glorify Him. To forgive is volitional – a choice – to realize that it is a not only a command but it is for the purity of our hearts. 

Free yourself. Reflect the heart of God. 

Grace

my photo

 There is beauty and tension to that word. It's great to experience it, but to extend it is a completely different story.

When a believer grows deeper into the Word, the more he is challenged to do radical things for His name's sake. To take God's commands as black and white is to choose to hold onto the lens of spirituality and view things differently.  "I no longer live, but Christ lives in me" is die to self. To let go of every right you think you may have and lay it at the feet of your Savior, to take captive every thought and assault it with the truth that God loves, is to truly crossover the boundary of self and go where God goes.

Radical grace. 
Radical obedience.
Radical surrender. 

Birthday Wish

Today, I turn twenty-eight (yeah, I know, tell me about it...)

For this next year I have only one birthday wish. I wish that my Heavenly Father grant me wisdom. Wisdom to know when to speak, how to act,  how to respond, and how to guard my heart. This is my desire. This is my prayer.

Photo

So here's to my 28th year! Praise Jesus for what's to come! This is a new season! :)

Happy Birthday, Mother

Dear mother,

Happy birthday! You are such a special person who has been truly blessed the past year! You are an inspiration, a phenomenal woman! May the Lord continue to bless you as you pursue righteousness and wisdom! I love you and I want you to know that I look up to you in many ways! 

I thank God for you! Happy birthday!

Just A View From Mt. Nebo

"Then Moses climbed Mount Nebo from the plains of Moab to the top of Pisgah, across from Jericho. There the Lord showed him the whole land.... Then the Lord said to him, "This is the land I promised on oath to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob when I said, 'I will give it to your descendents.' I have let you see it with your eyes, but you will not cross over into it." Deuteronomy 34:1-4

Deuteronomy 3:21-29 highlights one of the saddest chapters in the Bible for me. Moses pleads almost desperately to be in Canaan, but God silences him and asserts His final decision. For 40 years Moses journeyed through the wilderness, led a nation who constantly grumbled and complained, and waited to experience the Promised Land. But because his actions ultimately dishonored God, he was forbidden to go any farther from Mt. Nebo. After all his hard work, his prize was merely a view from the hills. 

This story teaches us many valuable lessons. When we dishonor His name, when we deliberately choose our ways, when we think we're better than God, discipline is not far behind. God will deal with us and have us accountable to them. There will always be consequences for our actions. When Moses struck that rock, his frailty crept up. He took matters into his hands and dismissed God's orders. God dealt with Moses in such a painful and harsh way and I will never understand that. His single misstep undermined 40 years of faithful hard work and service. But this story doesn't end there. If you look and read closely, you will witness a patient and gracious God. He knew things would go awry with the Israelites even before they crossed the Red Sea. But He constantly worked miraculously in their midst and selflessly provided water for the Israelites. He even allowed Moses to still get a glimpse of Canaan. If He was like any other god, He could have turned away. He could have given up. But this is the One True God who stayed. He stayed riveted.

God is gracious NO MATTER what you do. Mt. Nebo may not be the best that you could have gotten, but He is gracious nonetheless. Always pursuing you. Always loving you. May this story not be a story of discouragement, but a lesson centered on the character of God which breathes life and hope.

Pictures taken at Mt. Nebo. It was an emotional experience for me... What more for Moses, huh?

April 2010

Beauty From Swirls

Halfway through this pen drawing, I got frustrated with the way it started to look. It didn't quite match what I had previously envisioned. But as I kept drawing, it actually turned out just fine.

This little thing taught me a lesson. Through a spiritual perspective, everything turns out beautifully if you press on, seeing the possibility and the blessing behind the mess. That's the truth.  From messed up swirls, they'll turn out pretty darn great.

Pencil marks can still be seen :)

Brokenness Aside

When you've come to the end of self with no ounce of strength left, God seizes the opportunity to lift up your eyes to His glorious being. He can make all things beautiful. He is strong enough to take you and me. 

God loves you.

Beach Life

Sand in toes, wide open spaces, wind through my hair, simple life = the beach life.

Oh, what I'd give to be at the beach right now :)) 

I'll meet you soon.

Photo

^{1 Corinthians 13:11-12}

¹¹ When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. ¹² For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. 

Wisdom is priceless.

Pursue it.

Beautiful by Kari Jobe

Here before Your alter
I am letting go of all I've held
Of every motive, every burden
Everything that's of myself

And I just wanna wait on You, my God
I just wanna dwell on who You are

Beautiful, beautiful
Oh, I am lost for more to say
Beautiful, beautiful
Oh Lord You're beautiful to me

Here in Your presence
I am not afraid of brokenness
To wash Your feet with humble tears
I would be poured out till nothing's left

And I just wanna wait on You, my God
I just wanna dwell on who You are

Beautiful, beautiful
Oh, I am lost for more to say
Beautiful, beautiful
Oh Lord You're beautiful to me

Beautiful
You're beautiful, oh You're beautiful
Beautiful, beautiful

Holy, holy, holy You are, You are
Holy, holy, holy You are, You are
Holy, holy, holy You are, You are
Holy, holy, holy You are, You are

Beautiful, beautiful
Oh, I am lost for more to say
Beautiful, beautiful
Oh Lord You're beautiful to me

You're beautiful
Beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful

*Dear Jesus, I just want to dwell on who You are because you are beautiful to me. Each and everyday, it's a choice to dwell on who You are! Thank you for making it easier! Your grace is enough.

Uhhh...

I am so awkward it's kinda embarrassing sometimes!

Anyway, hello there.

Hope everyone's having a wonderful weekend! Tomorrow's a new day so be excited to make it count!

Horse with Blinders

I CANNOT BELIEVE IT'S FRIDAY! Whewwww! . . . . "Hold on, October, you're driving by pretty fast! ! !"

Whew. *breathe*

I guess these past few weeks / months have been unbelievably stressful that I didn't realize how quick days sped up. This week was all work plus other emotional things and all I can say is that His grace carried me through. GLORY AND HONOR TO YOU. I know myself pretty well to know that sometimes when I'm faced with a tough situation, I can feel as though I'm some basket case... I know that days like these taunt me to feel defeated and hopeless... But because I choose to be keen to His leading, I can feel His faithfulness and His lovingkindness hovering over me. I feel like I'm a horse with blinders as I choose to fixate my eyes on Jesus.

Have you ever felt this way? Bask in His faithfulness.

You just know it's His grace when can literally laugh out loud!
You just know it's His grace when you can feel Him assuring you every step of the way.
You know it's His grace when all of a sudden He surprises you with a random gift or an encouragement through a sister/ brother in Christ.
You know it's His grace when you can see the blessing behind the difficulty.
You know it's His grace when you know He's cheering you on with flashy banners because you are able to perform despite feeling discouraged.
You know it's His grace when you can push aside your feelings and think about "whatever is true" (Phil. 4:8).
You know it's His grace when you can wake up everyday with a smile.
You know it's His grace when you can say, "Thank you, Lord!"
You know it's His grace when you can wear your swag on cause He's got you covered.

You are sufficient. You are my solution. I depend on You.

God's Will

To wait upon the Lord is not easy. Sometimes we want to take control over our situations to get answers immediately. We cry out, “Lord! I want to know Your will for my life! Lord, speak to me!”  We find ourselves rather obsessed and desperate about discovering God’s will for our lives that we miss the point. We are so focused on getting answers or fixing a problem that we miss God’s will for our lives at the moment. We must understand that in order for us to know His direction for a particular situation we must first of all, fix our eyes on Him and not on the situation. Instead of trying to find solutions that may ruin our testimony or relationship with God, He says, “Be still and know that He is God” (Psalm 46:10).  God is a God of order. He will not contradict Himself. As simple as it may sound, that is the will of God. We may struggle to accept this truth in times of confusion or hurt, but eventually God will shed light upon the situation. He wants us to put our hope and security in Him and not on the circumstances. The Bible says, “Do not get drunk with wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit.” Day by day, minute-by-minute, we should empty ourselves so that the Spirit can take over us. He will empower us to see things differently. Andy Stanley, in one of his sermon podcasts, defines debauchery as "an extreme indulgence that leads to a loss of control" and I believe that debauchery can be anything, other than God, that takes control over our hearts. Interestingly before that verse, Paul says, “Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is” (Ephesians 5:17-18). By going straight to God and not towards things that will bait us to lose control, we will receive understanding. By aligning our perspective with His and putting first things first, we will truly understand what God’s will is.

If you want to know God’s direction in a particular situation, hold on tight to His hand not the situation. His will for you is not to fix your problem or get answers now. His will for you is not to run towards things that will take control of your heart. Cease striving. Wait and pursue wisdom. Stay faithful to the Lord and in His time, He will reveal His answers to you. 

Armswaggin

My sister surprised me with the pink and gray! The other three are my purchases! Wee! Makes me happy! :o) 

New pieces to add to my collection!

Second Pen Drawing

Praise God! This makes me happy :o)

G-Tech Pilot (point 3)

Dad's Early Bday Celebration

Yesterday, my family and I had an early bday celebration for my dad (Sept. 24). We went to Eastwood, attended church there and had lunch there as well. It was a fun, chill time. Praise God for my daddy! Does he look 60+1 years old!? He's a cutie!!!

 

Happy Bday, Daddy!

Pen Drawing

My first attempt to take on the pen drawing feat. What you think??? :o)

Wee!!! I feel like an arteeest.

Doodles + Jesus

I bought watercolor pencils and an ultra fine ball point. 

Not my best, but it's all good!

Hope ya'll are doing sweet and fine!

Faithfulness

If God is my Creator and I was made for Him, isn’t it only right that my heart and my mind and my soul with all my strength are all meant for Him?  

The art of faithfulness begins with our Maker.  Faithfulness means loyalty and commitment.  It entails trust and perseverance. Faithfulness does not mean when you don't feel it, you don't have it. It doesn't mean that just because you’re not in the mood you’re going to give up.  If we claim to love God, then faithfulness will coincide. Love is not conditional or selective. It is a choice to stay committed.

It is not to say that people no longer have a place in our lives. It is not to say that we no longer need people or that we will never want anything else but God alone. I don't think I can ever claim such because that's legalistic. That’s not being real. That’s being self-righteous. To deny my nature and my design is to be in denial. The point is, if I turn to people in order to gain something that God alone can fill, I'm headed for disaster.

You were made for God. Your heart, your mind, and your soul with all your strength should be faithfully be for God because He is first and foremost the Lover of your soul.

Assess yourself, how faithful have you been with God? Do you only go to Him when you’re not okay? Or do you worship Him in and out of season?

Faithfulness is a commitment.