Give Me A Letter: I

I'm getting a hang of this. I think this little activity makes me more aware of myself and what I like! Ooh! Kind of like a getting-to-know-you stage... Only it's with myself. Aww. Cue violin.

LOVE:
1. Internet. Whoever invented the world wide web is a freakin genius! Whoever you are, you are well appreciated! A single website alone opens a WORLD that you never knew existed.. such as: THIS NEXT
2. Ice water. I was unsure about putting this up here cause of my love-hate relationship with ICE cold water, but at the moment I'm having a glass and it's totally refreshing. . . Ahhhh. . . But usually I drink hot water after I eat. It was advised, from what I heard.
3. Interaction. For starters, it can be awkward, but once the chemistry sets in, it is completely liberating. It. is. fun!
4. You'd think ice cream should be part of the list, but to tell you honestly I don't always crave for it as some people do. It is the same for chocolates! I crave for fruits much more than cakes and pastries! :o) So my last I is: ISLANDS. Back in college, I went to Grenada for a missions trip and I was fascinated with how tiny the island is! OMG! It was absolutely beautiful down there. If I can find pictures, Ill gladly post them up. I wish to go to Maldieves Island someday! OMG!!! OMGGG!!! It's sooo beautiful!
NO TE AMO:
1. IPIS! Cucaracha!!! Cockroaches!!! I don't understand why we have frequent visitors when our house is not filthy!
2. Insecurities. Everybody has at least ONE thing that makes them feel insecure. It may not be something that constantly vexing the person, but at least something that makes one go, "I don't feel I'm good enough... I don't feel pretty... " Insecurities are a pain in the neck and one must realize that insecurities are lies and mere creations of our imaginations. . . They may be true to an extent, because after all man is not perfect like God who is extremely beautiful and extremely capable in doing everything, but we have the power to illuminate the negative twice more and to turn it into some kind of tyrant who recklessly rules our hearts. It must not be that way. . . Everything starts with our eyes... Then our mind... Thus our behavior follows. Whew. --- I must do a whole different post on this topic.
3. Impatience --- I need to change that!
4. Incompetence. I put this pressure on myself sometimes. It's not very good!

One Sweet Love

I don't have a lot of favorite songs. When people ask me about having one, Christian songs instantly come to mind. I guess it's cause of the emotional connection that I am able to have with it. There are quite a lot of nice secular songs out there, but the words just don't do justice... Single Ladies (Beyonce), OMG (Usher), Telephone (Lady Gaga) - I mean, comon. :o) Today, I guess I found one that I am able to connect with - heart and soul. It's by Sara Bareilles, One Sweet Love. I had to repeatedly read the lyrics because of the poetic lines and the metaphors... yep, not my forte.


Here's my interpretation. I guess after you read it, you'll think it's your favorite song, too!

Just about the time the shadows call
I undress my mind and dare you to follow
Paint a portrait of my mystery
Only close my eyes and you are here with me

A nameless face to think I see
*** Just like any other day dreamer, I am one who thinks of who my God's best is. At night, I think about him... I let me guard down and we connect. The only thing is, he is a "nameless face", an apparition of my imagination.

To sit and watch the waves with me till they're gone
A heart I'd swear I'd recognize is made out of
My own devices....
Could I be wrong?

*** Not so sure about the first line. Perhaps, Sara is saying that the person she imagines will be willing to go through the ups and downs of life. For the next few lines, I think that the person whom she thinks of is merely an imagination. His heart, his character, his personality, everything... they're all made up. She swears that she'll recognize him when he comes, but then she asks herself if she could be wrong with her expectations or the person who is in front of her.

CHORUS: The time that I've taken
I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?

*** I pray that the times I've imagined and the times when I prayed for him will not be wasted. It makes me wonder if I have already "tasted my piece of one sweet love" or if his guy I see around is the person for me already. Perhaps I've already missed it.

Sleepless nights you creep inside of me
Paint your shadows on the breath that we share
You take more than just my sanity
You take my reason not to care.

*** Almost the same idea as the first four lines. At night he comes to mind, we share a oneness, but again, he's nameless, faceless.

No ordinary wings I'll need
The sky itself will carry me back to you
The things I dream that I can do I'll open up
The moon for you
Just come down soon

*** I love this part of the song. For me, "the sky" would mean God. If it is God's will, God will bring him to me. And when that happens, the things I dream to do for him, I'd do it. But in my utmost desire I hope that he "just come down soon."

CHORUS: The time that I've taken
I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?
Ready and waiting for a heart worth the breaking
But I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of
One sweet love.

*** FOR THE LAST THREE LINES: I am ready to experience the risk of getting hurt because love does entail sacrifices and many other things. But for the sake of one sweet love, it's worth it.

Savor the sorrow to soften the pain sip on
The southern rain
As I do, I don't look don't touch don't do anything
But hope that there is a you.

*** I guess Sara is saying that as she waits, it hurts, but it is worth the wait. Savoring the pain is almost like finding joy in the situation.. finding hope. The next two lines are another favorite. For me, there's nothing else that can be done while waiting for the God's best. I have no control over my situation and I can't force a guy to like me! In the meantime, the person that I'm envisioning is hopefully someone real or existing and thus, "I hope that there is a you."

The earth that is the space between,
I'd banish it from under me...to get to you.
Your unexpected love provides my solitary's
Suicide...oh I wish I knew
*** There's definitely a desperate tone to these lines. Perhaps the more she imagines about this nameless faced guy, the more it kills her inside.

CHORUS: The time that I've taken
I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?
Ready and waiting for a heart worth the breaking
But I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of
One sweet love. 

So, that's that. It's pretty heavy stuff which I can strangely relate to, word for word. It's not very often  I can find a song that I can say, "Hey, that's me!" 

And yes, I'm quite the romantic.

YouTube It! 

Refiner's Fire

I am blindfolded. Completely clueless of where I am going. All I have to do to survive is to take one step at a time, holding on to the One who knows the way...

It's not easy to appreciate the insecure pilgrimage I'm on. Hebrews 11:1 says "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." James 1:2 commands us to consider it pure joy... and Philippians 4 tells us to rejoice always by an author who was in a prison cell! These paradoxical statements are overwhelming to grasp and to be able to apply it with confidence, is almost like a defeated battle. I try and try but it leaves me feeling emotionally exhausted . The spirit says I am more than a conqueror, but the heart is deceitful; it doesn't feel the change. Perhaps, a willful and forceful spirit will allow the shift of energy to take place. It doesn't take overnight to be like Paul... There needs to be a consistent drive to be better. Though the reward is not immediate, it will come. From exhausting all that I cannot give, I come to a place of complete surrender.My  strength, therefore, goes to praising and worshiping the Lord on my  knees. "The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." (John 3:7-8) It just happens like that... I do not have to understand it... I don't have to analyze it... I just have to trust that my spiritual labor is going to produce a harvest. "Though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials, these have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor."

Repost from my previous blog. During a difficult time of trusting.
Flowers given during youth leaders appreciation day. It's seems official. 

Give Me A Letter: G

I got this idea from a friend on FB (Thanks Ms. Mary Soden Molina!!!) Someone is supposed to give me a letter, but since I'm talking to myself, Ill do the first letter of my blog's name: G

Things I love and dont love with the letter G:
LoVe:
1. GOD! Hollllerrr!!!
2. Double G: Good guys. What's not to admire? I'm just saying there aren't a lot of good guys out there.
3. Double G: Going to the grocery store! Yes, I don't mind it at all.
4. The color GREEN!
5. Grains! I love wheaty stuff!!!

No Te Amo:
1. Throwing out the GARBAGE! I just did it a few minutes ago.
2. Ghost stories. No te quierrooooooo at all.
3. Garlic breathe! Wahaha.
4. Grumpiness. I am learning not to be this way!
5. Feeling groggy!