So yesterday, while eating lunch with my advisory class, I zoned out for a minute or two thinking about how this profession has made me kind of apathetic to certain things and absolutely keen to almost every move. My heightened senses seem to hear everything and feel everything all at the same time: kids rushing to me - using me as their "Force Field" or "Shield", me feeling bumps at my sides, kids whining "Teacher, teacher", kids asking me which color is better, me asking why one is not eating, and me monitoring someone who has not finished her worksheet. (What an amazing multi-tasker I have become!) Then there are times when I choose to appear rather apathetic towards certain incidences that I know are opportunities for the kids to learn and grow from. A kid looking at me with puppy eyes because he didn't do his homework and bring his materials can't be a time to respond with a, "Aww, you little cutie, come. Teacher is here."
As I think about my day-to-day encounters, I praise God for bringing me to a place where I can push myself to be better. Being constantly aware of the need to be selfless drives me to depend on God's grace because I know, without Him, I would always think about my comfort. Of course, there are times when I simply want to just sit down and not mind those who need help. But when I think about this calling, my conviction, and how God is putting this opportunity in front of me for me to be better, I want to heed to the still small voice saying, "Just do it." And by that, I remember this verse, James 4:17 Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it. (NLT) We ask, "Lord, make me patient. Change me." But are we doing something about what's already in front of us? That's the thing.
So whether a kid reports a wound thats smaller than a grain of rice and asks for bandaid, or when 6 students are asking questions all at the same time, or when I'd have to repeatedly say, "Out of your nose! Out of your nose!" while holding a semi-glaring look, I smile, extend myself, and say, "Lord, thank you because you are changing me!"